There is a fire hidden inside. A mystery is its color, its breadth; for it burns trapped in my chest, fueling my soul. Perhaps you catch a glimpse of it flickering in the backs of my eyes. Dancing across my fingertips. Crackling in my laughter. But you, you fear what you do not understand. No, you say it is impossible. Because what is unknown is dangerous and what you cannot comprehend is not real. But you cannot ignore. You cannot ignore my unexpected blaze enveloping the quiet of your thoughts. My heat on your skin making you sweat. The smoke in my smile tickling your lips. So, again, you turn back; the temptation too strong. You creep towards me like a moth to the flame. A bear to the trap. A addict to their drug. The border of stones does not give you pause, you trample the coals. Splinter the logs. Scatter the embers. You claw your fingers into the ashes of my spirit. Searching; but never once thinking that perhaps I do not need your acceptance. Soon your eyes ache from standing in unfamiliar smoke. Your hands are burnt from clutching at coals. You turn to me with eyes of pathetic desperation and beg, “explain, explain”. But I cannot teach what you refuse to learn. I tried. I tried to share the spark that lit the flame. I tried to sing you the song that cracks and echoes in my spine. I tried to show you the scars that this inferno has scourged across my existence. I tried to teach you the language of my burning heart but you would not taste. You would not see. You would not listen. You shied away: blinded or bored. You expected me to tame it, to break it down, to dissect it. To leave you to enjoy bite-sized pieces of my existence. You wanted me to label each pop, each spark, each explosion as something familiar and safe; neatly tucking myself into your limited imagination. That is what you expected; so what do you actually want from me? Because I have learned that when you say ‘explain’ what you mean is ‘change’.
A Penny for Your Thoughts 